You never can truly prepare yourself for such a thing. Although I knew they were going to a happier place and would see friends and family that they too had lost, I still find it so difficult to cope with. Knowing they will never be around again for me to get advice from, or just a card even. Knowing that I will never see their smiles when everyone is gathered together for the Holidays.
I can't help but sit here, sobbing like there is no tomorrow. Sometimes I feel there isn't. How can there be when they are no longer here? How do you go on? I just want them back...I want to hug them, and kiss them, and tell them that I love them. I stare at their pictures and remember every single happy moment with them and every talk we ever had. I know I wouldn't change a second of any moment that I ever shared with them.
I strive to be a better person, someone they would want me to be and can be proud of. Its extremely hard though, knowing I can't pick up the phone whenever I want to just hear their voice one last time. To hear them say they love me again.
So, today is a tough day for me...
I just can't help but miss them with every single inch of my heart.
To live in hearts we leave behind
Is not to die.
~Thomas Campbell, "Hallowed Ground"