Why I Relay

I am participating in the American Cancer Society's Relay For Life
because I want to make a meaningful difference in the fight against
cancer.

Cancer has been a plague on both sides of my family for as long as
most of us can remember. All different kinds to so many amazing
people.

Currently my Papa is battling lung cancer. He has done 2 rounds of
radiation, chemo and a pill therapy and can do nothing more since he is also battling COPD. The lung cancer is a result of Agent Orange and I'm sure working in
maintenance in the public school in Lawton OK in the 70's. He is such an amazing man and so strong. He strives to keep going even though we lost our Nana (his wife) a year ago so suddenly. So many times, I can't believe he hasn't just given up so he can be with her. I can only guess that he knows we need him too.

Fun Take on a Picture Frame

I actually did these frames as a birthday present for a friend. You could get creative on what you use for the frame...a block of wood, old cabinet door, etc. I actually have a lot of old wood samples from a furniture company from my work that I used.

What you'll need:
Whatever you are going to use for the main part of the frame
(Cabinet door, block of wood, be creative)
Picture
Accessories to add on
(Metal pieces, appliques, etc.)
Glue

So on these wood samples, one had a lot of texture and the other a lot of wax which makes it kind of hard to glue anything on. I had to use a paint stripper to remove the finish from the raised panel in the center.

(If you are going to do this step have a clean surface that nothing can possibly be ruined if it drips our spills.)

Wear thick rubber gloves, if the stripper gets on your skin it will burn extremely bad. Pour the stripper into something you don't care about: an old bowl our cup. I  used an old coffee pot I bought at the thrift store for a dollar for this very purpose. Use a paint brush and brush on the stripper. Let sit for about 30 mins. Use a paint scraper to scrape off the paint or finish. It may take a few applications to remove everything. Feel free to leave some for a rustic, antique look. When done clean with a damp cloth and let dry completely. I would use an old rag just in case it ruins it.

(Sorry I didn't get a picture of this)

Missing That Which I Have Lost

Today I find myself having a rough day. It started out fine...getting stuff for my new desk at work and a few things for a craft project I am doing. As I am working on this, I find myself thinking very strongly about my Nana and my Grandmother who both passed early on this year. I never thought I would lose them both so quickly. I wasn't fully prepared even though I was at peace.

You never can truly prepare yourself for such a thing. Although I knew they were going to a happier place and would see friends and family that they too had lost, I still find it so difficult to cope with. Knowing they will never be around again for me to get advice from, or just a card even. Knowing that I will never see their smiles when everyone is gathered together for the Holidays.

I can't help but sit here, sobbing like there is no tomorrow. Sometimes I feel there isn't. How can there be when they are no longer here? How do you go on? I just want them back...I want to hug them, and kiss them, and tell them that I love them. I stare at their pictures and remember every single happy moment with them and every talk we ever had. I know I wouldn't change a second of any moment that I ever shared with them.

I strive to be a better person, someone they would want me to be and can be proud of. Its extremely hard though, knowing I can't pick up the phone whenever I want to just hear their voice one last time. To hear them say they love me again.

So, today is a tough day for me...

I just can't help but miss them with every single inch of my heart.

To live in hearts we leave behind
Is not to die.
~Thomas Campbell, "Hallowed Ground"

Another Amazing Woman Gone

So recently I wrote a blog about my amazing Nana's passing. It's been a little over 3 months. Well, early Thursday morning we lost another amzing persn in our lives.

My Grandmother. Wanda Jean Fietz.

She left us at about 5 AM that morning. This was so sudden for us. She had been taken to the hospitalbfor nausea and weakness and turns out she had had a heart attack. No one knew. She had had no pain at all. But this just shows you how strong of a woman she was. She even knew that she woukd be leaving us and going to join the Lord. She had a Guardian Angel she had told us about on many occassions. I believe she had told her she would be leaving us and making sure she got to see as much of her family as she could and saying goodbye to her friend.

She was amazing in that aspect. I always loved her stories of incidences of her Angel or other stories of her life. Even though I'd heard them many times, I nevermind hearing them. My favorite was of when she was younger, she hadbeen in downtown OKC to do some kind of testing for the IRS and hr and a frind had gone to eat in an undergroun mall there when apipe had bursted. They had to run to escae the flooding water, when the escelators flattened out for emergency reasons ti avoid shock from the water. She told me of a man that helped to lift her and her friend up iut of the area. I loved that story, even though I'd heard it many times. I still have not visited this underground mall. We always talked of going together. I still plan to find it and witness the setting of one oof my favorite stories.

One of the greatest women in my life

About three months ago, I lost yet another wonderful person in my life. But this time, it was the closest person I have ever lost in my life.

My Nana.

LaVonne Lake

She was an amazing person. She was strong and independent and everything I strive to be. She raised 4 children almost alone while my Papa was in the Army. They moved to Lawton, OK finally from Rockford, IL.

We were so close since she used to babysit my brother and I all the time when we were younger and lived closer. She wasn't that typical grandmother, that I didn't really know and just shied away from. Although, she lived 4 hours away from me pretty much all my life, I was extremely close to her. I could talk to her about anything. She always made an attempt to come see my dance recitals when she could, which meant the world to me since dance was a huge part of my life growing up. She was always sure to send me cards for every occasion, newspaper clippings of articles she thought I'd like, recipes, religious books, health tips she'd cut out from magazines and much much more. Even though I'd only see her a few times each year, its like we'd never skipped a beat.

Christmas with the Family

So, I am just laying here in my Aunts bed watching football. Christmas here is over, the food has been eaten (partially), and the presents for the night have all been opened. I'm sitting here thinking about people wanting more presents or wanting something else and I see my little cousin Josie running around taking pictures of everyone and I think, "this is what's most important." It's not important how much money we got or how many gifts we opened, all though we should all be thankful for the time and effort someone put into getting us them, but it's our family. You never know if it will be someone's last time to celebrate or see everyone.

I just ask that everyone on Christmas to tell at least one person that you love them and appreciate them. If you tell more that's amazing.

With all the health issues in my family right now, I realize how petty it is to be complaining about having to run errands we don't want to or that someone has said something that didn't set well with us. I'm so blessed that I still have my Nana and Papa here this Christmas and that I have all my family around me.

Now I'm out in my Aunts kitchen with my cousin on my lap and I think that this is the life that I want and love.

Missing Loved Ones

I have my days, when I look back and miss those who I have loved and are gone. It is a tough ordeal, losing people who mean so much to you. How does one deal and move on from it? It was a tough thing for me. You understand that God has a better plan for people in his Kingdom, but you still feel a sense of betrayal. How could he take someone who meant so much to so many from their grasps.

Bobbi Denice Garwood.First was a dear friend of mine.  I grew up with her and her older sister (who is my age). We went to elementary school together. I played soccer with Bobbi for several years. She had such a great sense of humor and was such a loving person. She accepted everyone for who they were and never judged a soul. I will never forget the day I received the news, I was in my Freshman studio class and my mom had called me. When I got off the phone, I just sat there. I couldn't believe it. I began to cry, and people began coming up to me asking what was wrong. I asked to just be left alone to sit there. All my memories of her came flooding through my mind. Also, her family, I couldn't imagine what they must be feeling. They are all such amazing people and I knew that Bobbi would be loved even though she was gone. She was such a sweetheart and so young. I always think, who would she be today and what would she be doing? She was only 16 and would be 21 now. Its crazy to think how this world works and I know God needed her more than we but she is deeply missed by us all. I will never forget her and am so blessed to have been in her life and her in mine.

It Takes Someone Special to be a Dad...or a Papa

Went outta town these last few days to spend time with my Papa (my mom's dad) for Father's Day. Yes, of course my dad came along too. It was a great weekend, full of water park, mountains, family and food of course!

Here is my Papa's gift from my mom!

You see, he has an OU jersey with all the Heisman trophy winners from OU's signatures (except Sam Bradford...he hadn't won yet). He went one day and stood in line for HOURS to get his signature added to the jersey but Sam left before he ever got the chance. My mom bought him this signed Ram's Jersey knowing how much/hard he tried to get it. It is now hanging over his bed!!

Here is my dad's gift...no not an actual photograph, I didn't think to take one. He really needed a new TV for his bedroom! (No great story to insert about a new TV)

"A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again." -- Enid Bagnold



Times 50

     So for my amazing Dad's 50th Bday my mom decided to surprise him with a little trip down to Lake Murray, OK (it's down by Ardmore for those of you who haven't been).  We rented a little cabin (which was actually pretty nice for only $80/night) equipped with bed, couch w/ a pull out and a full kitchen.

     Day. 1: We arrived and had to wait for probably 2 hours at least for our cabin to be ready. In the meantime, we walked down to the lake to check out what all there was to do. After our room was ready we unloaded all of our stuff and headed into Ardmore to get some eat and get some food the weekend. We ate a Budro's Rib Joint since it was in this little "Places to Eat in OK" magazine. I will say, not at the top of my restaurant recomendations. I am sure their ribs that were talked about in the mag were good but my steak *gag*. Then, after we loaded down with groceries we headed back to the cabin. We then went on a little sunset cruise around the lake. I will say it was a good way to see all the little areas without taking the obnoxious drive around the lake and into every little turn off to see the sites. All and all a good day.

     Day 2: We went and ate breakfast at the lodge, you can ask my mom how good that was. Then we headed out to Tucker Tower. Built for the Gov. of OK at the time's vacation spot (who then never spent a night there). It gave a great view of the lake and was fun to take silly pictures of one another (at least to me and my mom). The so-called "artifacts" inside the tower I could've done without. I am not sure about you, but I do not consider random animal skulls artifacts. The tools used to build the tower were interesting but they told you absolutely nothing about them. Then we headed back to the lodge to rent a speed boat. This was definitely the highlight of all trip for us all. Just speeding around the lake jumping our own wake and wind in our hair. We then went to the spillway and just floated around, until a little girl decided to take a dump in the water and I was grossed out beyond belief and ran out. We spent the rest of the evening cooking out and sitting by our campfire. We also played my dad's new invented game of taking pics of the fire and saying what we saw in the flames. Marshmallows were an A+

     Day 3: We loaded back down our truck and headed towards home. We stopped in Sulphur, OK on our way to check out the Chickasaw Cultural Center. There were interesting things to see but not very invigorating to me. Then, we went to check out the Sulphur Springs. We had fun splashing around and being goofy and checking out one of the locals being questioned by a police officer while another stood by armed and ready (definitely a high point in my day, but I'm just easily amused).

     All in all, it will be a trip we all remember. Even with some bad food here, waiting for our cabin there, we had a blast. It is always good to spend some time with the family, even if it only is an hour and a half away from home...